Vision Quest -Vigil Night

Friday 28^th May after 7 am sometime.

Well I have completed Vision Quest and my vigil night. I have been out here in the bush in Kangaroo Valley NSW, since approx 4.30pm Tuesday. I’ve not eaten anything since lunchtime Tuesday.

Here I share with you some of my insights from vigil night, where by I cast a sacred circle and sat in it with my fire, all night awake. The moon was full and shone over me all evening. I had some beautiful insights gazing at the moon and at one point I saw doors on the face of the moon beckoning for me to come on in. (Go within) The thought that came to me when I saw the moon was some lyrics to a Waifs song I had sung on the first night questing. Those lyrics were…

“Find your mirror and go look inside”

What I understood from this is to be completely in my essence. Be the pure reflection of who I am on the inside. Find in life all that reflects the mirror & vibration of who I am and be that in every way. For being who you completely are is what you are here to do. And in being who you truly are only encourages others to do the same.When you stop being the essence of who you are, it interrupts the natural flow of all things.

During vigil night I kept thinking I wasn’t going to get a vision. I kept imaging that I would be the only one back at base camp saying that I didn’t get a vision.

I had drummed for a vision on sunset. Being more of a passive person I decided I would take the active approach to calling for a vision. So once I had re-erected the tarp once more to give me shelter in my sacred circle I drummed for my vision. It felt good and I loved feeling the vibration of my drum permeate through me. Also the sounds of the drum in the valley echoed giving the illusion that I was the only one there questing.

So on dusk I lit a natural insect repellant stick. I knew it would burn for 2 hours so I kept relighting them one after the other so that I had a guide to what time it was in the night. I got to about 3am and I couldn’t be bothered lighting anymore and it was here that I also let the fire die down. I was starting to get sleepy…

Jaguar visited me in my circle. She lept from the tree tops and landed in my circle. I had a distinct feeling that she was with me for the lost courage I felt I was struggling to find. It was such a powerful and comforting moment. Her guidance was to practice shapeshifting into her at times I felt I needed courage. But I have to say Jaguar has been with me since vigil night.

All through the night I continued to doubt whether I would actually get a vision. As the sun rose I got my vision. It came to me so naturally and it was like it had always been there. And of course it had, I just had never believed it before to be able to see it. I could see my life with immense clarity.

I realized the depth and brilliance of who I am and what I have created in my life. I felt my amazingness. I saw myself in the role of mother and recognized my talents within this role. I could see the amazing life I have created for my children and how this will hold them in great steed for their lives ahead.

I reflected on my life and the difficult decisions I have made. And I saw the fruits of my labour. I saw the pillars that I have erected and how they are holding me strong and tall. I saw the honouring of myself and the example I am for my children. I knew it in every fibre of my being and I could taste it.

The intangible had become the tangible.

I was able to see people in my life that had hurt me for who they truly are. I saw their true beauty and essence. I realized that the aspects of them that I thought I didn’t like, was only my feelings of being let down. But those wounds have become the greatest catalyst in the evolution of who I have become.